a letter to the career-oriented mom

The other night at dinner I overheard a group of moms discussing living life as a career-oriented mom.  Out of the group of 5 moms, 2 were SAHM, 2 were just moms who worked a 9-5 and didn’t care to go beyond that and 1 who had high ambitions to grow within her company.  Is any situation better than the other?  Absolutely not, as a mom one thing I have learned is that no mom will ever have the same situation and that’s what makes them unique.

I was OK with the conversation until they started ganging up the career-oriented mom.  They started asking her:

“Why in the world she would ever want to focus on career when she is so lucky to have kids.”

“Why she puts herself before her kids and her husband?”  

“Does she ever think she will get to where she wants to be because kids will always be priority?”

“Doesn’t her husband think she is not doing enough at home?”

The questions didn’t shock me because as a very career-oriented mom myself, I have heard it all.  What shocked me was that the career-oriented mom actually started second guessing herself just from hearing all those comments which inspired me to write this letter.

Dear Career-Oriented Mom,

You are a true inspiration that you have found a way to balance your life to make your family and yourself happy. Sometimes yes you feel like you have no balance and either you are drowning at work or at home but that doesn’t make you any less of a parent or sophisticated women.  In fact it drives you to try harder to find that balance.

Don’t let anyone tell you any different because like any other mom, the choices you make are always in the best interest of your family.  Yes you could give up your career but then you may be home with your kids and totally miserable all day knowing you are not following your dreams on part of your life.  Life doesn’t stop when you have kids; it just starts going at a faster pace.

Yes you juggle a lot and you may not be working for financial reasons.  You may have to work past 8 often and or attend work events twice a week.  You may travel 3 days or more out of the week.  You may have a nanny or mother’s helper that is in your house all the time but that’s part of you keeping the balance so drop the guilt because you do what you gotta do. Despite your heavy workload your life probably feels balanced, healthy and fulfilled and you can wake up every morning saying that having a career is awesome.

You may come home to a hot mess of a house and your kids at times letting you know how much they missed you and that so and so’s mom took them to the pool all day.  Don’t get sad, be grateful for how much your kids love you and even though you are working a lot, their love for you doesn’t change.  I am sure you have something amazing planned for them over the weekend.

At times you wish you were part time or just had a day off to get it together but I think every mom wishes that.  When you have to stay home with your sick kid and you keep the TV on for the entire day to get your calls done…doesn’t make you any less of a mom.  

You will always feel like you are not doing enough, but it’s not because of your career, I think EVERY mom gets that feeling no matter what situation they are in, it’s just human nature.  I am sure the constant comments of “why are you doing this” sometimes get in your head, but get them out because those people are wasting your time.  If you are having a bad day, think about the days where you kicked a** at work and came home to your loving family.  How satisfied did you feel?

You are driven, smart and motivated to make yourself and others better people and don’t ever forget that.  You are a true inspiration for your kids showing them that anything is possible if you put your mind to it.  Wake up every morning with a smile and be proud of what you do!

From one career-oriented mom to another 🙂